Trail of Tears
by GLyNchaN
Summary: Have you ever wondered how Ran managed to accept the fact that her parents are living separately? I'm pretty sure she hasn't. It was only a matter of time before she breaks down. Will Shinichi notice Ran's tears before she does something she might regret?


**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DETECTIVE CONAN.**

Hi! I posted this story already but when I read it again, it came off dry. I'm just not used to writing like this. So I changed it to a first person narrative instead. I think its better that way...

_Synopsis: Have you ever wondered how Ran managed to accept the fact that her parents are living separately? I'm pretty sure she hasn't. It was only a matter of time before she breaks down. Will Shinichi notice Ran's tears before she does something she might regret? _

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_**TRAIL OF TEARS**

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**RAN MOURI

(CHAPTER 1)

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Ran is so responsible. She does all the household chores, cooks all the meals and studies hard to keep her grades up. She's won countless karate competitions. Her friends all love her for being so kind, so good-natured. The teachers are impressed on how she balances her studies with extra-curricular activies. She is a blessing to everyone around her.

Everything seems perfect in her little world.

but its not.

"Oi! Are you even listening?" Shinichi Kudo knocked on my table, trying to bring me back to reality. My mind drifted off somewhere again and I bet his exemplary detective skills could not even deduce where it went. Maybe he just didn't bother to look into it especially with all the cases he's been to lately.

"Are you alright? You've been zoning off lately. Is something bothering you?"

I shook my head. "Nothing important." I forced a smile and stood up, ignoring his bewildered look. "I need some medicine. I have a killer headache."

Shinichi knew I was lying but he didn't say anything. I could see it in his eyes. Yeah, he was giving me _that_ look. I simply walked away, not minding the pair of eyes following me as I left the room.

Instead of heading downstairs, I opted for the rooftop to get some air. I definitely needed to take my mind off things. My family is such a mess. Its just me and my dad, but it wasn't the same.

A broken family...

I don't want to admit that.

Opening the steel door, the cold air greeted my face. I headed straight to a corner and felt the breeze on my damp cheeks. The tears in my eyes continued to fall down. People thought I was strong. Well, I am. Physically.. but I too am just an ordinary girl who can only take on this much.

My father is turning into a drunken wreck.

I would cook and clean, he would drink and sleep. Sometimes he would yell at me for the tiniest things. I know he wasn't always like that. It was because mom left us and we never got used to it.

No matter what I do, whatever matchmaking scheme I make, it just wouldn't work. Picking up the pieces wasn't enough. Maybe it was all too late. My family... is completely shattered.

I bit my lip, feeling the anger I've keeping inside.

_He's impossible. A pathetic excuse for a man._

Mom always said that. I'm beginning to understand what she meant.

"Looks like you've got the world on your shoulders." A boy spoke. I looked around, finding where the voice came from. "Over here." He waved his arm, catching my attention. He was sitting on the highest part of the school.

I looked up at him, staring at his hazel eyes and messy brown hair. It wasn't allowed for students to be up there but I suddenly had the urge climb the ladder beside the door. And I did.

"Its better up here. If you need air, that is." He lay down, his hands behind his head. I took a deep breath, sighing heavily, before sitting down beside him.

No one said anything.

The silence was comforting. I closed my eyes, hoping the pain in my chest would leave. I breathed heavily once more.

"Want a smoke?" The boy offered. I politely declined.

"That's bad for your health, you know?" I warned, glancing at the lighted cigarette stick in this hand.

"It doesn't matter. We'll all die anyway." He declared apathetically, cigarette dangling on the tip of his mouth. "I just don't know when."

"Now you sound like you've got the world on your shoulders." I shrugged, pulling my legs closer to my body.

"Don't we all?"

I didn't answer back. I only wrinkled my nose at the stench of smoke.

"Love problems?" He guessed, one eyebrow raised.

"No!" I exclaimed, throwing a glare at him.

"Family then?"

I wasn't sure whether I should answer that or not. He took my silence as a yes.

"Parents are so selfish. They think the world revolves around them." He suddenly stated.

Surprised, I quickly asked him. "What makes you say that?"

"They always choose to be happy not minding the consequences." His tone was bitter.

"Do your parents fight most of the time?" I knew was prying and I didn't care.

"Yeah. But they're already separated."

"Sorry." I apologized.

"It's fine. I just hate it when they look at me and it only reminds them of each other. That's when things start to get ugly."

"You can try to look on the bright side, there might still be hope for the two of them to get back together." I tried to brighten up the mood. Everything was just too gloomy.

He turned to look at me in disbelief. "Do you honestly believe that?"

I hesitated to answer because I knew I was convincing myself to think that there might still be hope despite everything else. I've prepared myself for the day my parents would get back together. I haven't considered the idea that my family will never return to what it was.

"Are yours divorced already?" He pressed on.

"No. Just living separately. My mom left my dad because he was a hopeless person." I admitted.

"So she left you behind?"

I opened my mouth to answer, no words came out. His question kept ringing in her head.

_She left me behind._

I kept repeating those words to myself. Mom left us when I was still a child. If she knew dad was such a hopeless person, then why would you leave your daughter to such a man?

"You must remind her of your dad." He added, "That kind of thing is normal."

My mouth hung open, horrified at the sudden realization. What kind of mother would leave her only daughter to a person who is irresponsible, hopeless, and a pathetic excuse for a man? Am I unwanted? Did my father also think like this too? Of course, I'm their daughter so I'd definitely look like one of them. Did they regret having me then?

I needed to get away. My face turned white, fear clouded my heart. I didn't want to face such a reality.

I quickly climbed down, leaving the boy with his cigarette. Without looking back, I went inside the building, my chest heavier than ever. My knees were shaking and I had trouble going down the stairs. My ankles finally gave away and I fell. I closed my eyes and braced for impact but nothing came.

I felt two strong arms held me up, breaking my fall.

"Woah. That was close. Are you okay?" Shinichi asked, his arms cradled to my sides. "I've been looking all over for you. You weren't in the nurse's office." I looked up to him despite the tears welling up in my eyes .

"H-hey! W-what are you-?" He asked nervously, surprised as I wrapped my arms around him. My nails dug in his back, face buried on the crook of his neck.

His warmth was all I needed to finally break down. I didn't care if we're in the middle of the hallway. Or if it would cause rumors. Or if teachers would scold us. I cried, sobbing loudly as the tears stained his uniform.

He was taken aback at the girl in his arms, shaking and crying shamelessly. I didn't even care if our friends saw me like that. It was far from my mind at that moment.

I felt like something was pressing my chest, the pain was excruciating. I couldn't breathe and tears continued to fall. I wish it would all stop. I wished I hadn't opened that box in my heart. I now began to doubt the confidence I had that mom and dad would get back together.

Who am I kidding?

There was never any progress. Sure they had their moments but for 10 whole years, nothing closed the gap. They continued on with their lives. I'm 18 now and they're still living separately. Where's the progress in that?

I gripped Shinichi's shirt tighter despite my trembling hands. I didn't want to believe that my parents would actually regret having me. Was I a burden? Did they not want me anymore? Was it better if I wasn't around so they could move on with their lives? No more responsibilities?

Everything now fell apart. My image of a happy family shattered . It also broke my heart. I tried to pick the remaining shards of my broken family. I didn't expect that I'd get hurt in the process.

Hope was something I was desperately clinging onto now. Shinichi always brought me that hope. Scolding me if I was thinking unnecessary thoughts. How I envied his positive outlook. How can someone think positively with all the daggers stabbing their chest. It drives me insane.

Shinichi scooped up my legs, carrying me in his arms. He probably noticed the little strength I had left in my knees. I was still crying on his chest, the fabric now damp with tears. I couldn't stop sobbing and shivering. He felt that too and carried me away from prying eyes.

He brought me to the nurse's office where I should have been. I pressed my lips together, controlling my sobs. The last thing I need is to be offered professional help from my emotional stability.

"She just needs to rest for a bit." Shinichi murmured to the nurse, hoping not to disturb me.

He laid me gently on the bed, my hands still gripped his shirt. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone. I already felt so lonely, I couldn't handle it if he left me here. His hands covered mine, gently removing my tight grip from his chest. He whispered comforting words to me, assuring that he will stay by my side.

My eyes was firmly closed, trying to prevent the tears from spilling. It didn't help. My tears continued to fall. Shinichi's hand began to stroke my hair hoping to calm me down. I felt so tired.

"Thank you, Shinichi." I managed to whisper to him before I fell into a deep sleep.

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Ran is such a darling, and I'm a sadist. I hope to bring more angst in this. Tell me what you think about it. I'm no English major but I hope you were able to enjoy this as much as i did. :)


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